Tag: Stress

The Rubble of an Argument

.Reading time 1 minute.

Did I support you?
I’m sorry that I didn’t hear you better.
Man, I shouldn’t have argued with her about this.

These things go through my head as the dust clears after an argument. Many people, like me, begin to assess what happened and why. We look for remnants of what once was and try to rebuild from nothing— the rubble. But is it really nothing? I believe that the rubble actually has the hidden answers to a successful relationship.

The after affects of arguments tell us stories of the problems of the past. The awkward silence, raised voices, slammed doors, unnecessary comments.

Like history, if we don’t learn from our mistakes we are doomed to repeat them.

I believe that if studied, measured and analyzed properly, that “stone” of miscommunication that a builder might refuse could then turn into a chief cornerstone of rebuilding lost intimacy and connection in a relationship. Focusing on those key issues in arguments like assumptions, superlatives like “always and never”, the raised voices, the errant comments—taking those left over bite-sized pieces of a disagreement and using that as a building block. We can allow ourselves not to start from ground zero but to start from a place of understanding, hearing, accountability and agreement.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James‬ ‭1:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It might NOT be okay

.Reading time 2 minutes.

Many people don’t know, but I actually have an architecture degree—so creative blocks (similar to writers block) are something I grew accustomed to in school. I used to get them often when designing staircases, floor plans, or even entire homes. I would step outside to get some air, or do things I called mind shifts. Meaning, I would strike up a random conversation with a classmate, watch a YouTube video, or even work on a different section of the project. If I was working on the windows of a design, I might jump to the placement of doors. The changing of focus was my go to method to get the creative juices flowing again. Sadly, the methods I listed above aren’t working these days. It’s different I guess, because the creative blocks now are purely from outside sources not from within. I want so badly to create and write a blog, but it’s just not there. The ideas aren’t flowing like they use too. Lack of sleep, stress, lack of resources. Or simply the fact that I haven’t slept in my bed since August 28th, the day we evacuated.

Mold growing in our home. Unresponsive insurance companies and a career that I’m excited about but can’t seem to find the energy to sink into.

I once heard this saying before: “It might NOT be okay.”

This may be crazy to hear a Christian say, but as the Bible says: There is a time for everything: a season for laughter, and a season for tears.

In my case, this is a season of stress. I’ll say it again, a season. I’m not promised rainbows and sunshine every day, but I am promised His presence throughout it all.

“Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7:14‬

It’s okay for things not to be okay. Just remember, it’s only for a season.

I’ll praise Him for the good and the bad. With either, I still have Him.