You’re asleep right now, resting from a long day. I’m awake typing this because I miss you. It sounds funny to say I miss you because I’m laying down right next to you. You’ve only been asleep for 20 minutes, but I miss you already. I miss you as if you’ve gone on a trip, packing a bag and heading somewhere without me. But no, you’re right here my right arm is nestled on your right arm, comforting you (my wife sleeps the best when I’m touching her in some way). I’m laying down on my stomach, and you’re asleep on your back, I can feel the warmth of your beautiful body. You are five inches from me, but it seems as if we are far away from each other. I wish you were up right now. So we could continue talking. About nothing in particular but, also everything. Cascading into any and every topic, one after another. Just as a stream trickles into a river. Allowing that river of dialog to spill into an ocean-sized conversation that could last for hours. It’s funny, I wish you were up, so I could tell you that I love you. Not for any reason, just because I do. I’ll soon fall asleep after I say my prayers thinking about you. Thankful just for your presence to be able to share the bed with a woman as lovely as you.
It’s selfish but, I wish you were up right now.
“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” Proverbs 31:10-11 NLT
Instead of a new podcast episode today, I wanted to give you all a blog post. It feels as if it’s been months since I’ve typed up one of these. And for all of you all who feel the same way, I’m sorry guys. I’ll make sure it’s never this long in between blog posts again, but back to tonight’s topic. This topic came to me as I was sitting behind my desk at work today.
I’ll start off with a quick analogy as usual. (I’m the “King of analogies,” as my wife calls me) Growing up I loved watching football and still do. I heard a really cool saying from an announcer once after a player was injured on the field. The player was on the sideline being assessed of his ability to resume play by a coach and the team doctor. As they were talking to the player, the T.V. commentator said to his co-anchor “they are trying to see if he’s hurt or if he’s injured.” If you were like me at age 12 you may have thought “what?” that means exactly the same thing. But in sports, just like in life we learn that there’s a difference, meaning you can be hurt and not injured. To further explain, in being hurt you can normally play through whatever the problem is as long as you can tolerate the pain. A good “RaRa speech” and a pat on the butt later, you can normally get back out there. But an injury is catastrophic. There’s no playing with an injury, and if you do you become a further liability to yourself and to your teammates because you are not able to perform at your best. No “RaRa speech” can save you from an injury. Injuries require time, patience, grieving, mourning, rest, recovery, and most times, therapy in some form.
So I ask, are you hurt or are you injured?
“Don’t be so willing to give someone a pep talk that you never actually stop to find out if they even need one.”
Dennis
We all have grown accustomed to a society where if something is wrong we’re immediately told “it’s going to be alright.” Sadly we don’t live in a reflective society where we’re allotted time to process, grieve or morn. And if we are, it’s based upon a subjective amount of time of when we should be over it. Whatever it is…
Yes life goes on… Yes the world never stops… Yes time is the only thing we can’t get back…..
But what about my mental, spiritual, and physical fatigue?
Sometimes we have to sit in that room of discomfort in order to be prepared for a world that never stops and a life that perpetually goes on. Going a little bit deeper, if we don’t take time to process, we walk away from situations prematurely, leaving pieces of ourselves attached to those individual issues. These issues can never be healed fully until we actually sit in the place of hurt… until we settle in to the place of discomfort and become accustomed to being uncomfortable. The issue, whatever it is, has done some damage to you. Now go ahead and give yourself and others the time to assess the damage and heal.
You can go back out there later and finish this game called life, but right now you’re injured and you need time to heal.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
Intentional Dating- The Dating to Marriage Pipeline Pt. 2 –
Something For Us
We're back for part 2 of the dating series!!! This time we're talking about the engagement and newlywed process. Share, like, and let us know what you think.Support the show
After a nearly year long hiatus, we’re back!!! Today we give an update to our lives as well as discuss the problem with the acceptance and celebration of negative traits. Support the show
Welcome to our dialogue. You all spoke in the poll on Instagram and we listened. In this episode, we dive into intentional dating and what that’s looked like for my wife and me. Let us know what you think. Thanks for listening!!
An excerpt from my vows to my beautiful wife. “God brought us together, I never knew I was looking for you and you never knew you were looking for me. But God found us for each other.
I promise, I vow, I commit to love you more each day. Loving you more than the last day but not as much as the upcoming next.”❤️
Welcome to our dialogue!! In this episode, we talk about forgiveness: what it is, what it is not, and the role that grieving plays on the path to healing.
After a nearly year long hiatus, we’re back!!! Today we give an update to our lives as well as discuss the problem with the acceptance and celebration of negative traits. Support the show
If you follow me on Facebook, you will see that my most recent status post was a thank you message to my collegiate big brother Kamau Marshall, the Director of Strategic Communications for Joe Biden the newly elected president.
I think back to my senior year of high school at McDonogh 35 where on two separate occasions Kamau and the Assistant Director of Bands Clarence Gibson came and spoke with me to recruit me for the band program at Texas Southern University which ultimately did become my college of choice. They spoke highly of the music program which was under the leadership of Richard F. Lee a renowned stage band trumpeter who has toured with The O’ Jays among other groups. Their words left a great impression on me every time we spoke.
I’m in the middle behind my section leader
As a former HBCU student, it was monumental to see and hear HBCU marching bands, debate teams, and graduates put on full display on a national stage. It brought tears to my eyes to see HBCUs finally be given the recognition and exposure that they deserved on a national stage. For a long time, HBCUs were viewed as second class, undeserving of the acclaim PWIs (predominantly white institutions) received. We weren’t viewed as the best or the brightest, we were just us and mostly existed in the shadows.
It was a pleasure to see an example of this Scripture play out in real-time: “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.” The first HBCU grad to be elected into a presidential office—finally, the head and not the tail.
So about 3 years ago I went on a weight loss journey. I met and befriended a great personal trainer named Josh. Before I would leave the gym after the workout on a Friday, he would ask me what I had planned for the weekend. Some weekends, I had nothing. Other times a day trip or a vacation would pop up. Josh and I would then sit down and he’d give me a pre-game speech of healthy alternatives to the best of his knowledge, based on what may be in the area.
“Hey D!!, make sure you eat before you go somewhere”
Josh
I welcomed his effort and his detailed counsel. I understood over time why this was so necessary to him and why it would be a key to my success. Josh had learned over the years with past clients to game plan weekends because most clients would unfortunately undo the work that took place during the week then wind up needing to start fresh on Monday. We never started a weekend without a game plan–it was a must. As I got deeper into my journey and also into my faith, I learned that if you leave hungry, you’ll accept anything, good or bad, just to satisfy your thirst. So remember to always leave full, always depart satisfied, and never not embark with enough.
One of the things we’ve learned in our Christian walk is that the areas of life that we don’t have a game plan for are the areas that we are most susceptible to attack. In the areas that we don’t fill up on Jesus and his Word, we settle for whatever the world presents us. Always plan ahead…
So there is this excerpt from a book I remember reading when I was younger about the story of a farmer and a young farmhand titled “I can sleep when the wind blows.” It made me think of a story of Jesus in the bible in Mark 4: 35-40 where Jesus was asleep while traveling in a boat with his disciples. As he was sleeping, a storm suddenly hit, sending the disciples into a state of fear and panic. The disciples, shouting in fear woke Jesus up, then without hesitation, He rebuked the waves and quieted the wind. Then Jesus asked the disciples, “Why are you afraid. Do you still have no faith?” After this, the disciples asked each other in amazement, “Who is this? “Even the wind and waves obey him!”
What I love about this passage is that Jesus wasn’t fearful of the wind because He knew who created the wind, nor was He unsettled by the waves, because He knew who created the waves. He could sleep comfortably because He fully rested in God’s promise that He will never fail us or leave us. God has already done the work as seen in the book of Genesis. He is the creator of all things, so our aggravation at His presumed stillness is misguided. God’s not still because he doesn’t care. God is still because he’s standing right beside us as a confirmation of his word.
So we see that our storms are only as big as the fear we have of them. Or, they are only as bad as the faith we put into them.
If you have time today, I urge you to google search a video excerpt or the written version of “I Can Sleep When the Wind Blows.”
A Christian Couple's Blog 