It’s a common belief in lower income communities that all a child requires to survive is food, shelter, and water. “A horse is typically supplied with food, water, and shelter. Am I not worth more than that?” I’ve come to realize that more is required.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?” Matthew 6: 25.

Matthew 6: 25.

So what do I mean by saying, “More is Required?” I’m so glad you asked that question. That kind’ve frees me up to answer it.

Let me stop and say this: I come from the belief that we all have mental deficiencies whether they are the more socially acceptable ones like anxiety, fear, shame, arrogance or even narcissism. Or the more severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bi-polar, or bouts of psychosis.

Slowing down even more, I’m going to focus in on the child to shed light on the makeup of a person.

What makes us tick? Well, It’s the inner child. We may not think so, but let’s talk about it. In our day to day lives, we all seek to have fun, follow the rules and simultaneously break the rules. Sounds a lot like a kindergartener, huh? But it also weirdly sounds like you, right?

I was listening to a sports podcast, and one commentator said that we have to get out of this mindset that every time a kid does something wrong it is a mental health issue. I stopped and thought to myself; I understand what you are saying, but I don’t completely agree with it. While every issue can’t be blamed on a major mental illness, it can be blamed on a mental lack or deficiency of some kind.

Mistakes happen, yes, but why?

Individuals living in an environment of lack for ex: poverty, typically make decisions from a place of lack. A lack of judgment, a lack of understanding, a lack of logical reasoning. These issues of lack are mental deficiencies. We see this a lot with ourselves, friends and family, or a random passerby. An unsatisfied child grows up to be an unsatisfied, seeking adult: seeking experiences, positive body image, support, love, etc, etc.

If we don’t nurture the child or care for the child correctly, that adult never sprouts up properly. We end up walking around looking like a bunch of grown-up children. When the child isn’t satisfied, that person can spend an entire adulthood trying to quench that thirst for what was missed out on as a kid.

People will talk, all you have to do is listen.

Every so often my wife will come to me feeling a little nervous about taking on a new counseling client. I always try to reassure her and remind her that the person will tell you everything you need to know about themselves; all you have to do is listen.

This blog topic came about from past conversations with my wife while shopping during the holidays for our family. My wife would say that when I shop I was wasting money because I would buy gifts I thought would be good for them instead of what they asked for. (Which, she points out, that the person rarely uses, hence the wasted money). She pointed out that instead I should buy something that they will actually like or use. My wife and I had a really great conversation about this at Burlington’s Coat Factory. It helped me to understand this information, even if it was in something as small as holiday shopping.

I told these two stories to lead to this question: Are we ignoring what the people around us truly want?

I grew up with both parents in the home, but they struggled, as a lot of parents do, with hearing their children. As I grew older, things were bought and purchased for me in a rush to soothe an assumed want—not a want that I actually voiced myself. Assumed wants were the things they sought to satisfy, but the true voiced wants and needs of their child were something that proved challenging for them to hear. I truly believe that most children like myself only wanted love and to be listened to, to feel like we were heard—contrary to “the world” that parents want to give.

While in the process of trying to give those around you everything that you think they want, stop now and then to ask yourself “is this what this person really wants?” Whether young or old, did they actually ask for this? Or is this something that I want them to have? And if this is something that I want them to have and not something that they asked for, is this really about them at all or is it about me?

Am I being controlling?

“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”
‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭15:22‬ ‭

Readers, lastly I would like to challenge you to try a simple exercise of asking those important to you what is one thing that they want. Then actively seek that out and that alone, without your wants, your opinion, or your agenda taking precedence over theirs.

When the rain doesn't stop falling… – Something For Us

In this episode, my wife and I jump into a topic that is all too familiar to us all. Trauma has been with us since the beginning and unfortunately won’t leave our lives until the end. So take a listen as we discuss different types of trauma from a solution-based perspective.

Do You Value Yourself? – Something For Us

We’re finally back guys. Sorry for the delay in this episode we talk about the exciting news that delayed us and also dive into the topic of Self Worth.