This blog post is very near and dear to my heart. In full transparency, I’ve been working through this topic within my own marriage.

I would like to start off with my belief that the true foundation of marriage is sacrifice which according to the Biblical definition is the manifestation of love.

In expounding on the above statement, God gave us the ultimate example of love by sacrificing his son Jesus for the sake of all mankind. A key component of faith from a Christian standpoint is that we love God because He first loved us as evidenced by his sacrifice. One way we show our love for him is through submission to his Word.

So I ask this question to all my married couples: could/would you be able to not make the most money and still be able to support your spouse? Even though by societal standards they’re “winning” financially and you’re not?

Secondary question: When your spouse is being thrusted to the forefront and being honored in society, could you as a husband or wife be okay with that? Can you embody the simple principle that if they’re succeeding then we are succeeding as a family–because under God, we have been united as one flesh. So if she’s being placed in leadership positions then we are also because I am with her. This is a concept that I’m getting better and better at by the day. For me this was one of the hardest things to deal with while in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. As a husband, I expect to and want to lead from the front–expecting to be the vocal, financial, and spiritual leader at all times. But this is just sadly due to ego and pride. God has given us help through our spouses so that through them, we can gain some relief from this unrealistic burden. To think that there won’t be ebbs and flows to our relationships is illogical thinking. There will be times where who is the financial and vocal leader will swap, and that’s okay. We can’t control what life and God throw at us. Yes, the goal is for I as the husband to be at the front but not necessarily at all times. No, that is not promised and once again, that is okay. Truth is we all have to be able to lead from the front, the back, the rear, and all sides. Leadership doesn’t have anything to do with preferred positions, rankings, or bank statements. Leadership is the sacrifice you’re willing to endure for the good of others.

Can our marriages truly look like our Savior’s love and sacrifice for us?