Think of the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen–really, think about it for a second. Now hold on to that image. What does she look like? What are some of her physical attributes? More specifically what is her hair type/texture?

I realize that depending on my audience, the type of woman imagined could vary. But what type of girl do we often see cast in the media as the “love interest”–the “pretty girl”? Is she darker hued or of a fairer complexion? Is her hair straight or curly? Do we see her natural hair at all?

If you’re like me, you probably have few instances of seeing a girl with kinky/curly hair displayed as the lead in a film, singing group or any other popular media. This isn’t a new phenomena. For years, we and our mothers, grandmothers and beyond have been given a singular message from society concerning this most sacred part of ourselves–that message being that the hair that grows out of our heads is not acceptable. We have been made to feel ashamed of it–so much so that we wished to either cover it up or chemically alter it.

Now before you assume that I’m attacking weaves and relaxers, know that I’m not. I didn’t write this to tell all relaxed haired women to cut off their hair and go natural or for those who wear weaves to stop wearing them all together. It is fun and harmless to switch up your style from time to time. I am ALL for that boo, so do you! Also, protective styles from time to time are a MUST to maintain a natural healthy head of long hair. What I AM attacking is the insecurity, the lie, that tells so many of us that we are not acceptable without these things. That your God-given hair is not acceptable for the workplace, media or even to the opposite sex. We have to be honest with ourselves. What is your motivation? To switch up your style or to hide a piece of yourself? If it is the latter, there is no need to feel ashamed. It’s hard to take pride in yourself when society has given you every reason not to. But just because you’ve been a certain way or thought a certain way for a long time does not mean that you have to remain that way. It starts with you–with questioning yourself and your motivations. From there a decision needs to be made. At least, that is how it was for me.

Part II coming soon!